Category Archives: mental health

Tiny Self Care Tips

With everything that’s happening in the news at the moment, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, especially if you’re a survivor.

It’s hard not to relive every time you’ve been on the receiving end of unwanted attention and that takes a toll on our mental and physical health.

At times like these it’s so important to look after yourself, you need to choose who you spend your time with carefully and take some extra care of yourself.


There’s no one right way when it comes to self care, it’s all about you and you are unique. The things that bring you peace and calm may not be the same for someone else. It’s also not a one-time deal. Much like being more positive or confident self care is a daily practice. And if we don’t look after ourselves we can’t help others as effectively.

With that in mind, here are some small self care tips to help you out in times of need.

⭐ Find some ambient sounds
There’s an 8hr video on YouTube of rain in a forest and it’s so soothing. I like to stick in on when I’m reading, can’t sleep or just need something peaceful to listen to.

⭐ Scents
I’m a big fan of scented candles and their mood-enhancing abilities. Find a scent that relaxes you or perks you up and use it whenever you need a boost.

⭐ Try a mini-meditation
One minute of awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Try one minute of focused attention on breathing. Take these 60 seconds and repeat a mantra of your choosing.

⭐ Try yogic breathing – it really helps to calm you down!
Put one hand on your chest and one hand on your stomach. Inhale through your nose and fill your stomach with that breath. You should feel the hand on your stomach move and the hand on your chest should have barely moved. Hold the breath inyour stomach for a few beats then slowly let it out through your mouth.
When we’re panicing our breaths tend to be short and quick, which means not enough oxygen is getting into our bloodstream. It feels like you can’t catch your breath.
Stomach or yogic breathing is slow and deep, taking longer to inhale and exhale and delivering a significantly larger amount of oxygen to the bloodstream.

⭐ 15 Min of sunshine
As much as my little black heart despises sunshine, I need it. We all do. So set aside 15 minutes to spend outside. If you can, go somewhere nice but it’s not essential, sunshine is sunshine whether it’s in a park surrounded by trees and wildlife or a back alley next to a wheely bin on your cigarette break at work.

⭐Check in with a friend
And reach out to anyone you know who might be feeling overwhelmed.

⭐Take a break from social media. A real break, not just a couple of hours. Constant updates are not necessary or helpful so step away from Twitter and Facebook for a couple of days.

⭐ Write it out
Get all the noise out of your head and onto paper. No one’s every going to see it so be honest and write it out, all of it. Then throw it away, burn it, spit on it – just get rid of it.
Then write a list of all your accomplishments, write a list of your positives and any compliments you’ve received. It’s a good way to remind yourself of how far you’ve come. Keep the piece of paper with your accomplishments and read it whenever you feel down.

⭐Got a pet? Give it some fuss
I love my dog, she lights up my life and it not only gives me a boost to play with my dog or stroke her while she sleeps but it’s good for her too.

⭐ Take a nap
A power nap of 20-30 minutes can do you good. Studies have shown that naps can improve memory, cognitive skills, creativity, and boost your energy levels.

⭐ Change your bedsheets
There’s something so comforting about clean sheets on your bed. It doesn’t take long and it’s a cheap way to give you that comfort feeling. Maybe buy some new bedsheets? or P.J’s? Cultivate an atmosphere of comfort.

I really hope these tips are helpful and I hope that the awareness from recent events evokes change within the industry.

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Moxie McMurder
The Badass Manifesto

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Personal Development: Things I Need To Work On

My fellow Badasses,

I’ve had a rough week both mentally and physically. So, I’m not really in the best place to be evaluating myself but hell, when is a good time?

When I feel a depressive episode coming on I’m a lot harsher with myself and my flaws feel magnified.  To try and combat some of these feelings I wanted to look at some of the things I need to work on. Not in a self flagellating way, I want this to be more of a self care type deal.

  • I need to get better at accepting compliments. Why is this so difficult?! Whether it’s a compliment about my work, appearance, impact on others I cringe when someone says something nice about me. And that’s some bullshit. I’m no saint but also not the worst person to crawl the earth so I need to start saying thank you.
  • I also need to stop being so hard on myself.
    I am capable of saying cruel things to myself, things I would never say to another person. Things that aren’t true but I listen to those horrible things I say to myself and I have to fight to remind myself I am not the piece of shit I tell myself I am.
  • I need to focus, which can be hard enough on a ‘good’ day let alone when I feel like I do at the moment. I feel a little lost at times, I will be 37 next year and I feel like 2018 could be a really great year but I need to focus. I need to dedicate time to my passions and goals and not let the months slip by uneventful.
    I must stop being distracted!
  • I need to be kinder to myself. In whatever form it takes.  I will be kinder to myself, more accepting of my flaws and turing those perceived flaws into positives.

 

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Moxie McMurder
The Badass Manifesto

Finding My Inner Garden Witch and Greenthumb

I have been inspired!

A month ago one of my closest friends gave me two seedlings. Now, I have a bad history with plants, I’ve failed to keep cacti alive. With the exception of two houseplants that have somehow survived long periods of drought and over watering, I seem to kill all houseplants.

But I have discovered my inner garden witch!

My friend, the Badass Boss of Alternative Process Therapies gave me an Aloe and a Spider Plant and not only are they still alive but they are THRIVING!! I feel like Mother Nature.

With age comes wisdom and at 36 years old I think I’ve finally learned a little temperance. I’ve learned to leave my plants alone and not over water them.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote “The simple perception of natural forms is a delight”. He was talking about beauty but I also think it applies to nature itself.

I get so much joy from watering my plants and if that wasn’t enough, I had some shoots pop up so I learned a little about propagation (the breeding of specimens of a plant). It’s been really interesting learning how best to take new shoots and repot them. I also love learning about what kind of plants I have. There are so many different kinds of succulents and exotic houseplants, the stranger they look, the more I like them.

Succulents and cacti are always popular plants but they’ve experienced a real boost in popularity lately, so chances are you already have one..but do you know how to care for it?
There’s some excellent advice about succulents on the Royal Horticultural Society website and I’ve made a new Pinterest board called How Does Your Garden Grow? It’s full of tips and advice for houseplants – go take a look!

These tiny cacti were £1 each from Wilko – bargain!

I had cacti years ago but they died, so this time around I decided to actually learn about how to care for them properly. I learned that a lot of plants benefit from being watered from the bottom. And this is a particularly good way to water succulents, which includes catci. Simply place the potted cactus in a saucer filled with a few inches of water and leave it in the saucer for about 20-30 minutes. This method of watering ensures that all of the soil, not just the edges are fully moistened. (It’s best to let the soil to dry out between waterings.)

I’ve been so inspired and it was so unexpected. I find watering the plants really relaxing and, in a weird way, it feels like giving back to nature. Taking cuttings from the spider plants and getting my hands in the soil gives me a little connection to nature.

I’ve been using caring for my houseplants as part of my self care routine. It’s calming, it focuses my mind and for whatever reason it just makes me happy. Just like watching the birds eat the seeds I put out for them. It brings me joy. A simple but totally fulfilling joy.

Taking a cutting, watching its roots grow daily and then potting it and watching it floruish is something of a soul nourishing experience. As I nurture my plants, I’m nurturing a part of me that clearly needed attention. I just didn’t know it until I was given a gift, and that gift just keeps giving. I am so grateful for that gift.
Funnily enough my bird feeders were a gift from my other closest friend.

What’s inspired you lately? Are you obsessed with houseplants? Do you have a black thumb history of killing plants?

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Moxie McMurder
The Badass Manifesto

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One Thing I’ve Totally Failed At

I wrote this blog post about saying sorry, promising that it was a habit I was going to get out of in 2017.  I have utterly failed. 

That’s OK of course, failure is just a stepping stone, not a destination. I’m aware that I’ve failed so I’m going to try harder.

It’s such an irritating trait, I hate that my default is ‘sorry’. That little voice that says you’re in the way or in the wrong and that it’s you who should apologise to the stranger that bumped into you – it’s got to stop! It’s so automatic I don’t think twice about saying it.

By saying sorry you’re accepting blame that isn’t there. You’re also sending a strong message that can justify people treating you like a doormat. Over-apologizing creates a needless sense of guilt and lowers your self esteem. It makes you submissive. There are already so many external influences that can lower our self esteem why should we be doing to ourselves too?

So, I’m going to try harder. I’m going to be more aware of the situation I’m in and train my brain to say something else or to -shock horror – say nothing at all.

Moxie McMurder 

The Badass Manifesto 

What’s in a Name? 

Names are a funny thing. Ever introduced yourself to someone who immediately shortens your name? This happens to me regularly and it’s so annoying. Why do people do that? 

My name is Moxie McMurder, it was my roller derby name and I’ve stuck with it. 

It’s unique and it catches people’s eye, I can’t tell you how many opportunities have come my way purely from people being interested in the woman behind the name! I’m proud of my name and what I’ve accomplished with that name. 

Me wearing skates to work for Sport Relief back in 2012

Everything I write goes under this name and recently someone I was considering working with on a project with, questioned my name. He asked if I would consider using a different pseudonym or being published anonymously. 

I’ll be honest, his reaction spun me out. Was this the Fraud Police knocking on my door? Did this mean no one would ever take me seriously with a name like mine?

I explained that I use the name Moxie McMurder for everything I publish but he kept on, heavily implying that my name was not something he wanted to be associated with. Perhaps he felt it was childish or unprofessional, I’m not sure but all I kept thinking was, ITS MY NAME!

I ended up pulling out of the project because I felt so uncomfortable. My anxiety spiked, I was annoyed and suddenly I was having an identity crisis. It was all so unexpected. 

I remember putting my phone down, having a total wig out, talking it through with a couple of close friends, then going to bed. I lay there going over and over the conversation. Thankfully a couple of other people in the conversation complimented my name and because they work in the same field as this guy it helped validate me. Sad but true. 

Whenever I feel insecure about my chosen pseudonym I tell myself that if Diablo Cody can win an Oscar. I can be a writer called Moxie McMurder.

Looking back do I regret backing out of the project? No. Did I overreact? Maybe. My sense of self shouldn’t be knocked so badly by one guy’s comments. But I’m glad I didn’t allow myself to be talked into something I wasn’t comfortable with. 

That’s something worth celebrating. 

Moxie McMurder 

The Badass Manifesto