Insomnia Is Kicking My Ass

I’m a long time sufferer of insomnia, some of my earliest memories are of struggling to sleep, you think I’d be used to it and mostly I am. It tends to come and go and usually it’s just a struggle to fall asleep, once I am asleep, I’m good. But lately that’s changed.

Over the last 2 months I’ve either fallen asleep for a few hours and then I wake up and can’t get back to sleep or I’m just awake all night. Luckily because I work from home, I can make up the sleep but at the moment I’m staying awake all night then all day hoping it’ll tire me out – it doesn’t always work. 

Insomnia is so frustrating, it’s reduced me to tears many times. I know what triggered it but I don’t know why it’s continued for so long. Also, I’m annoyed that the thing that triggered it bothered me at all. (More on this in another post coming soon.)

Pain plays a part in this too. My back problems (2 protruding discs, one of which is trapping a nerve and degenerative disc disease) have been getting worse. I’m due for another MRI but who knows how long that will take.

Not being able to sleep because of pain is probably worse than my insomnia because with normal insomnia I can read or watch a film until I’m tired. When I’m in pain, it’s hard to take my mind off it, I try to read but I can’t get comfortable. I try to watch something but I can’t concentrate on anything. 

All this uneven sleep is playing havoc with my mental health. I’m feeling down more often and more unsure of myself. I really hope this passes and I go back to having a somewhat nocturnal but normal sleeping pattern soon.

Sweet Screams, 

Moxie McMurder

The Badass Manifesto


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