I have a confession to make. For all my Badass traits I have a habit of apologising. Like, all the time. It’s my default, it falls out of my mouth before I’m even aware I’ve said it.
Obviously there are times when an apology is necessary but if you’re like me and find yourself saying sorry to the person on the street who bumps into you – you need to stop. How often do you find yourself using the word sorry when you really should be saying excuse me?
I need to stop saying sorry.
Excessive apologising is more common in women but this isn’t your fault, centuries of social conditioning has a lot to answer for! There’s nothing wrong with you, we can stop this behaviour.
Constant unnecessary apologising can be a sign of low self esteem, it reinforces guilt, justifies other people’s poor actions, and can turn you into a pushover. That’s not Badass, but you are so let’s nip this in the bud.
So,here are my 10 tips to help you stop apologising and become an effective communicator
- Ask yourself – “Did I actually do something wrong?” If the answer is no, continue! If the answer is yes, well that’s for another blog post 😉
- Changing your vocabulary is one of the most effective ways you can stop saying you’re sorry. Try to get into the habit of saying ‘Excuse me’ instead of sorry.
- Endless apologies can indicate low self esteem. Really think about how you feel about yourself, do you have low self esteem? If the answer is yes you should start making efforts to be more compassionate toward yourself.
Drop unrealistic standards, and recognise some things are out of your control, therefore you have no need to apologise.
- Acknowledge the way you feel when you’re apologising. If you’re constantly saying sorry all the time it lowers your self esteem and it also communicates to others that you seek approval. Next time you feel the urge to apologise, be aware of how you’re feeling, it can help you get to the root of the issue and in turn help you break the habit.
- Think about why you say sorry, do you feel intimidated? Are you trying to avoid expressing your true feelings by covering it up with an apology? Do you feel you’re in the way? Do some research on assertiveness!
- Tell your family and friends that you are working on becoming “less apologetic for things that don’t require it.” Ask them to point out when you slip up, because you will, you’re only human.
- If you find yourself apologising for things that you have no control over or things that have nothing to do with you, stop! You are not responsible for all that has gone wrong and you shouldn’t be made to feel that you are! Think about the instances where you found yourself apologising a lot, did it help? Did you feel better? – Chances are, no.
Now, let’s all stop apologising!